


Evan "Buck" Buckley begins

by fireinbone



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireinbone/pseuds/fireinbone
Summary: So I wanted to write my own version how the episode would go and decided to combine it with the 911 week at Tumblr.This fic was first posted on Tumblr.Day 1: “Wanna bet?” + fluff
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 115





	1. "Wanna bet?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to write my own version how the episode would go and decided to combine it with the 911 week at Tumblr.
> 
> This fic was first posted on Tumblr.
> 
> Day 1: “Wanna bet?” + fluff

“It’s done! I knew I could do it!” Buck was beaming. He had just finished building a beautiful crib for Chim and Maddie’s baby girl.

“And I did it super quick, so pay up,” he said to Chim who grabbed for his wallet. “You shouldn’t bet against my handyman skills, I’m quite ‘Buck the Builder’,” he continued smuggly.

“Hahaa, very funny,” Chimney answered with a sour face, now 20 bucks poorer. 

“I hope you know he will never let that go,” said Eddie who had suddenly appeared at the nursery door.

“When did you get there? Where’s Chris?” Buck asked.

“Just now, Chris is with Maddie, giving her our gift,” Eddie didn’t even have time to close his mouth when Buck heard the joyful yel of his best boy “BUUUUCK!!”

“Seems like I gotta run,” he said grinning and headed to the kitchen where Chris and Maddie were. He loved Chris to bits and he couldn’t wait to be an uncle and have another kid in his life to spoil rotten.

Maddie was due soon. She didn’t want a baby shower, branding ít a stupid ‘commercial garbage’, so instead, they were having a little get together with close friends from the 118 and dispatch center to celebrate Maddie officially beginning her maternity leave. She didn’t want any gifts, but as if anyone was listening. Buck’s gift was the crib he had just finished building. He had let Maddie choose it though, as Maddie didn’t trust his, or Chimney’s for that matter, taste on the matter.

“So any plans now that you have all the time in the world?” Eddie asked. He, Buck, Maddie and Hen had just finished large plates of tacos (something Maddie had graved all the time during her pregnancy) and where lazying around the dinner table, listening other’s sounds from the living room.

“Well actually, our parents are gonna come to visit me, well, us, in two days.” Maddie said and continued “I haven’t seen them, gosh, I don’t even remember. Do you?” She asked from Buck.

“Nope, they haven’t visited me while I’ve been in LA,” Buck said and stood us taking his plate to the sink.

Eddie noticed Buck’s demeanor tensed a bit at the mention of their parents. “That’s nice they are coming, isn’t it?” He asked Maddie, even if his eyes never really left Buck.

“Yeah it is,” Maddie said smiling. 

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, now seeming to relax a bit again.

“I’ll go check what’s up with Chris.” Buck said smiling.

“Yeah, I’ll join you, Denny has been abnormally silent for a bit, need to see what he is plotting this time,” Hen mused and left the room with Buck, leaving Maddie and Eddie at the table.

“Buck never talks about your parents,” Eddie tentatively muttered looking at Maddie. 

“Yeah, well, there’s not much to talk about,” Maddie said with an unreadable look. “Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t bad parents, just…. not very present.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“Don’t be, we had a good childhood, they made sure we had everything we needed to have a happy and healthy childhood…. and we had each other to lean on.” Maddie stood up and started to clean the table. 

“No let me do that, you should rest!” 

“Eddie, I’m pregnant, not sick, I can do this,” Maddie jokingly scolded him. 

“Fine, but let me at least help.” 

“Be my guest.” 

“You know, I regret not being present when Chris was younger, I…” 

“Eddie, it’s not the same thing, and you are an excellent father. That’s the first thing Buck told me about you. The way he was going about you being a great dad and how great Christopher was. He had such a boy crush on you, it was cute,” Maddie laughed. She didn’t miss the way Eddie perked up at the mention of ‘boy crush’. 

She didn’t get the chance to question him about it as Chim waltzed to the kitchen frustrated. “Buck is cheating again, no way is he that much better than me at Mario Kart!” 

“Did you bet on it too?” Eddie asked, amused at Chim’s frustration.

“No, I learned my lesson, thank you very much” Chimney said and continued “Chris was asking for you to go play with them.

“I better go then,” Eddie said smiling.

When he stepped into the living room he saw Buck and Chris in the middle of a game. They both looked happy.

“So I hear you were cheating,” he said to Buck waiting for him to take the bait.

“Wait what, who said that...Chim of course! I never cheat!” Buck said, partly offended.

“I know you don’t, but I’m still gonna beat you easily,” Eddie dared him.

“Oh you think so, wanna bet on it?” Buck asked, ready for another challenge.

Rest of the day went by really quickly and soon it was time to head back home. The weather had done a quick 180 and turned from a lovely, hot, summer day to a dark and storming night. “This night can’t end well” he muttered to himself while driving and watching the cars battle the wind and water filled streets. Luckily he had a big SUV, safe for a weather like this. And so did Buck, who was driving ahead of them. The thought of Buck having a safe ride made Eddie feel calmer than it should and he smiled to himself. That’s when he saw it. A lightning striking a tree. The tree falling down to the utility pole taking it down as well, crashing to the street. All he could hear was Chris’ fearful ‘dad’ as he hit the break. The left tires hit hydroplaning and the car started to spin.  
“DAAAAAAAAD!!!!”

What felt like and eternity must only have been a few seconds, but he managed to stop the car just before crashing into others. 

“Chris!!! Are you okay?” Eddie worriedly asked.

“Yeah dad, I’m fine but…”

All Eddie could do was to turn his head where Chris’ scared eyes were looking. There was a big car pile up - and Buck’s car was in the middle of it.


	2. “You scared the shit out of me.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: “You scared the shit out of me.” + fun

_‘Shit, that was close’ Buck thought as he stood up from his yellow SUV. It was pure luck he managed to break just in time to avoid the huge pile up that had formed in front of him because some douche driving a ferrari had decided to switch the lane at place when there was no room. There goes my day off at the beach, Buck thought, wondering how long it would take from him to get back to the apartment._

_He had been living at Florianópolis, the capital of southern Brazil’s Santa Catarina state, famous for its beaches, for two weeks now. But he still hadn’t had time to actually go to the famous beaches yet, apart from working as a bartender in a bar next to a beach. Not that Buck was a beach bum really, but he really just wanted to find a nice place to enjoy the sun and get some rest, it had been a busy few weeks._

_He wasn’t exactly sure how he had ended up here. All he knew was that he was sort of lost what to do with his life, so he had decided to just leave and see what the world had to offer. He hadn’t planned too far ahead. He had had a little stop at Cabo, but it wasn’t a place he wanted to stay for a long time. From there he had found his way to Florianópolis through a couple of pit stops. He liked it so far and had done a three month contract with a little beach bar. He didn’t have much experience with bartending, but he liked being around people (and alcohol) and was ready to learn. He had soon noticed the bartending skills weren’t actually the most important quality here, what really mattered were his people skills. Plus he was a natural flirt, so he had soon become a hit with the customers._

_\---------------_

_It took three hours before Buck was back at the nice apartment he shared with a couple co-workers, twins Adam and Cathy. They seemed nice, but Buck hadn’t had time to hang out with them much yet. That was about to change apparently, as both of them were at the condo when Buck arrived back there._

_“Oh hi,” Cathy smiled. “Was the beach okay?_

_“I wouldn’t know, never got there. There was a huge crash blocking my way, it took me ages to get back here.”_

_“Oh I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically. “But you are in luck, we were just about to go Rush, join us?”_

_“What’s that?”_

_“It’s this huge inside trampoline park near here, wanna come?” said Adam who had appeared behind Buck making Buck startle._

_“Shit, you scared me!”_

_“Sorry, but are you coming?” Adam sounded quite keen for Buck to come with them, he thought._

_“Sure, why not.” Buck said smiling._

_\------------_

_He didn’t regret his decision, the place was amazing! There were over one hundred trampolines in the park area, including an exciting free fall from the 5 meter Stunt Jump, which soon became Buck’s favorite. He didn’t know how long they had been there, but the way his stomach growled, it must have been a long time._

_After the fun they stopped at a cozy little restaurant close by to grab some food._  
_“So I assume this place was a hit?” Cathy asked._

_“Sure was, need to get back there asap, loved it!” Buck was beaming, still having a little adrenaline rush from all the fun._

_“Maybe next time, take it a bit easier, yeah? You scared me a couple of times the way you were jumping around doing all sorts of flips.”_

_“There she goes again, being a mother hen... sisters, eh?” Adam said, rolling his eyes._

_“I know all about them,” Buck laughed._

_“So you have a sister too then?” Cathy asked._

_“Yeah, a big sister,” Buck said smiling “She actually just got married before I left.”_

_“Oh that’s nice!”_

_“Yeah, I guess,” Buck said, shrugging his shoulders._

_“Oh, you don’t like the guy, feel protective?” Cathy said, looking at Adam and continued “He never likes any of my boyfriends.”_

_“No that’s not it, at least not all. I just get this vibe from Doug, I dunno how to explain it...but Maddie was super happy on her wedding day. It was nice.” Buck said smiling._

_“Besides, I don’t hate all your boyfriends, but we all know I have the best taste when it comes to guys,” Adam said, winking at Buck._

_\----------------_

Eddie didn’t remember how he had run to Buck’s car. How he had forced the door open. How he had dragged Buck out of the car before it had been burned down by the flame started from the gas leak in the car next to Buck’s in the pile up. Eddie didn’t remember how he had told the paramedics first at the scene how to do their jobs. He didn’t remember how he had managed to take Christopher at Carla’s before driving to the hospital.

All he could remember was Buck’s lifeless body. The huge cut at his head which was bleeding to Buck’s white t-shirt. Eddie was pacing down at the hospital corridor, waiting for Buck to come out of his surgery and praying for the best. Rest of the 118 had wanted to be here, but the storm had wrecked quite a havoc at the city and it was all hands on deck kind of situation. Bobby hadn’t called Eddie back to work though, which now that he thought about it, was kind of weird, not that he would have gone to work anyway. There was no place else he would be right now. It was probably for the best though that nobody else was here, as Eddie didn’t need anyone to tell him to calm down. He couldn’t, not before he knew Buck was okay. Maddie had said she would be there the first thing in the morning, as soon as it was safe to drive again.

Finally, finally, Buck was brought to his room. He had suffered a concussion, broken ribs and some damage to his already damaged leg, but he should make a full recovery, the doctors had said. But Eddie still couldn’t settle, but he managed to stop pacing and sit down by Bucks hospital bed.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Eddie said, petting Buck’s hair gently. “Now I need you to wake up.” He whispered.

“Please, Evan.”


	3. "We can do this."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: “We can do this.” + hurt

“How is he?” Bobby asked. Rest of the 118 had finally been released from duty and had headed to the hospital right away.

“He's still sleeping, the doc said he should wake up soon, but I’m getting worried. He has been sleeping for hours now.” Eddie was fighting the tears forming into his eyes.

“Hey, he is gonna be okay...okay?” Bobby said, hugging Eddie. “Why don’t you go home to Christopher and get some sleep, I will take over here.”

“No, I...I can’t, I need to be here” Eddie said, wiping tears from his eyes before Bobby would notice them. “Besides, Chris is with Carla, I don’t wanna wake him up, it’s still the middle of the night. Carla said she would bring him here in the morning if it was safe to drive again.”

“Okay,” Bobby said with an understanding smile. “At least get yourself something from the cafeteria. You look exhausted. “I’ll be with Buck, he’ll be fine.”

Eddie did feel exhausted, he could really do with a cup of coffee at least. “Okay, I’ll be quick.”

He stood up and gave Buck a final look before he headed out of the room. Did he look even more pale suddenly? A little sweaty? Nah, he must just be tired and projecting his fears, Eddie thought. He found Chim and Hen at the waiting area, leaning into each other, fast asleep. Eddie smiled a little. It must’ve been quite a day for them too.

The cafeteria was small but full of people, which was to be expected after a heavy storm. Eddie grabbed a protein bar and a cup of coffee and headed back to Buck’s room. He wasn’t gone for long but the scene he came back to made him drop his coffee mug.

Buck’s room was full of doctors and nurses, his body jerking uncontrollably.

“What’s happened?” Eddie screamed at Bobby.

“Buck woke up. He was tired but seemed normal. Then all of a sudden there was panic in his eyes and his body started spasming and…”

Eddie didn’t hear the rest… Buck woke up - and he wasn’t there.

\---------------------

_Buck was turning around in his bed, he was so hot and feeling terrible. He didn’t even wanna guess how much fever he had, it must’ve been a lot. Also the cough, which had just started suddenly a couple hours ago, was terrible and made it impossible to sleep. Everytime he was about to finally pass out the cough started again. Buck was one of those people who never got sick and now all of a sudden he had the Dengue fever? Just his luck. Speaking of luck, he had hit a jackpot when it came to his roommates, who were now both his life savers._

_After their Rush adventure, they had quickly become good friends and both Cathy and Adam really had done their utmost to help Buck feel better when he was feeling worse than he had ever felt in his life. Adam had even waited by the bathroom door when Buck was puking for what seemed like hours. Cathy, for her part, had made some miracle soup with a high nutritional value, which had somehow stayed in Buck and made him feel slightly less awful._

_But he was still feeling awful and tired as hell, he needed sleep so bad but the cough didn’t stop._

_“Buck, you okay?” He heard Adam ask._

_“No, I have the dengue.” Buck said and he knew he sounded like a whiny baby. But he was allowed to be in the state he was in. He turned around and saw Adam had entered the room holding a cup._

_“I know, “ Adam said, rolling his eyes. “I heard you coughing so I brought you this,” he said putting the cup to Buck’s night table._

_“What is it?” Buck asked looking at the cup._

_“It’s our Aunt Mary’s magic cure, heals every cough in a heartbeat.” Adam said smiling. “Thought you could use it the way you were coughing.”_

_Buck took a sip but couldn’t taste anything, like he hadn’t been able since the whole torture began. “What’s in it?”_

_“Just some herbs and honey, trust me, it’ll help.” Adam said and kissed his forehead._

_“I dunno how to thank you, both of you.” Buck admitted._

_“I’m sure you’ll find a way when you are all better, handsome. Now go to sleep, you need your beauty sleep.” He said winking at Buck._

\-------------------

Buck woke up and Eddie wasn’t there. He felt horrible, like he had betrayed Buck. Obviously that wasn’t the case, but it didn’t make Eddie feel any better. He felt horrible. If only he’d been here when Buck opened his eyes. Maybe he could’ve calmed him down. Maybe he wouldn’t have had the seizure? Eddie knew he was being stupid but when Buck was surrounded by too many doctors, laying all helpless and seizuring, Eddie was allowed the feel te way he did.

Suddenly he felt the world starting to spin. He needed to sit down and quickly, before he would end up in a hospital bed himself. He quickly sought the nearest seat and sat down, covering his face with his hands, elbows resting on his knees. He felt a comforting arm surrounding him.

“Hey, Buck will be okay.” It was Hen.

“He is a strong kid, he has been through worse.” Bobby said so convincingly Eddie almost believed him.

“Yeah, if I survived a rebar on my head, he can manage this.” Chim said, trying to lighten up the mood. But it wasn’t working. Eddie felt he was falling apart.

“Hey, look at me Eddie,” Hen said. “We can do this.”

Eddie looked at Hen who had crouched before him. “Yeah?” he whispered.

“Yeah, Buck is strong, he can do this and we can do this, we will be here for him.”


	4. “Do you believe me?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: “Do you believe me?” + love

Buck looked so peaceful, Eddie thought, sitting by his hospital bed. Buck was stable and sleeping. Eddie took Buck’s hand in his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Would you wake up now, please,” he whispered.

“Dad!”

He saw Chris entering the room with Maddie.

“Hey, kiddo, come here.” Eddie said hugging his little superman. Was it really morning already? He had lost all sense of time.

“Carla had some emergency, so I picked Chris up instead,” Maddie explained. “How is he?”

“Stable, sleeping.”

“Do the doctors know what caused the seizure?”

“Not yet, they are running some tests, but I haven’t heard anything since they took them.”

“Sometimes there isn’t a clear reason,” Maddie said and petted Buck’s hair. “You look tired.”

“Yeah, I could do with a cup of coffee.” Eddie said, realizing he never got it before, as he dropped the one he picked up.

“Go get something from the cantine, something for Chris as well? I’ll stay with Buck.” Maddie suggested.

“I’d rather stay here.” Eddie said, no way was he leaving by Buck’s side, not after what happened the last time.

Maddie smiled at him compassionately.

“Okay,” she said. What if I'll go, you wanna come with me Chris, pick something for daddy?”

“Yeah, what do you want dad?”

“Just coffee….and maybe some small snack.” He said, noticing how empty his stomach was.

“We’ll see what they have, come Chris.”

And then Eddie was alone with Buck again.

\--------------------

_“Do you trust me, do you believe me?” Adam asked._

_“Yes.”_

_“Then come.” Adam said, holding out his hand at Buck._

_“Let’s do this.” Buck said, grabbing Adam’s hand._

_Buck was feeling a lot better. The fever had gone down a week ago, he wasn’t feeling sick anymore nor did he cough his lungs out every night - Aunt Mary’s drink really helped. But no matter how good he was already feeling, he wasn’t sure when Adam had suggested jet skiing on their evening off, as he hadn’t done that before and didn’t feel he was up for learning new things yet, he was still feeling quite powerless after a couple weeks of bed rest. But now he was hopping behind Adam on a one and soon they were going full throttle towards the sunset._

_Buck had to admit jet skiing was great fun, especially as he didn’t have to do anything, just hold onto Adam and enjoy the view. The sundown was really pretty and warm water splashing on them felt nice and cooling. He didn’t know how long they had been at it, but he noticed a small island close by Adam was clearly heading towards._

_“What’s this place?” He asked while hopping on the golden beach._

_“I dunno really, just some island I saw some people hanging at some time ago.” Adam answered. “Been wanting to come here ever since, and we are just in time to enjoy the sunset, come on, let’s go on that little cliff there.” He continued, pointing at their left._

_Adam was right, watching the sunset from here was magical, it felt like they were in the middle of the ocean, with no one around. It was so peaceful._

_“You know, I thought I was supposed to do something for you to thank you for all the care you’ve given me these last few weeks, and instead, you make me feel great again.” Buck said at Adam._

_“You know, there is a way you can make me feel good.” Adam said and looked straight into his eyes, then his lips and back to his eyes. He moved closer to Buck and he noticed his eyes go dark._

_Buck gulped and nodded. That was all Adam needed. He took Buck’s head in his hands, stroked his cheeks lightly and kissed him. First tentatively and then fully diving in._

_Buck threw himself to the kiss. He was surprised, even though he really shouldn’t be. Adam had not been very subtle with his interest in Buck. And Buck had noticed how nice his lips were, what a lovely tan he had, those dark curls he had - Buck wanted to run his hands through them. He was slightly taller than Buck, not as muscly, but nicely toned in all the right places. Yes, Buck had noticed Adam._

_“Is this okay?” Adam mouthed._

_“Yes, yes, it is.” Buck gasped, when Adam started kissing his neck, his collar bones, his pecs, his abs and following Buck’s happy trail._

_All Buck could do was close his eyes and enjoy the ride._

\--------------------

Buck opened his eyes and felt confused. Where was he? He felt someone stroke his arm.

“Buck...Buck?” He heard a familiar voice.

“Ed...Eddie.” He mumbled.

“Where am I,” he said, trying to sit up, only for the stingy pain to stop him.

“Hey, hey...take it easy, lie down.” Eddie commanded, having seen the pain in Buck’s face.

“What happened?”

“You were in an accident, there was a storm and a pile up, you don’t remember?”

“No not really, I...”

“BUUUCK!” They heard Chris yell as he was hobbling to the room as fast as he could.

“Hey buddy,” Buck said smiling.

Eddie noticed how much Buck perked up when Chris showed up and it filled his heart with love.

“You are awake!” Chris sounded happy and Eddie stood up and let him sit.

“Of course I am, you are here.” Buck said looking at Chris smiling.

“How are you feeling,” he heard Maddie ask.

“Hey sis, tired and a little confused, I can’t really remember what happened.” Buck answered, squishing his forehead.

“Hey, don’t over exhaust yourself,” Eddie worriedly warned him, “it’ll come to you, there’s no hurry.”

“His right, you know.” Maddie said sitting on the other side of the bed. “Now just rest, okay.”

“I think I’ve done quite a bit of resting, but okay.” Buck said, smiling and feeling content.

He was okay now, surrounded by people who loved him.


	5. “It’s okay, you can cry.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: “It’s okay, you can cry.” + comfort

Buck was feeling a lot better, having spent the day with Christopher, Eddie, Maddie and the rest of 118 dropping by, he was in high spirits. Although, not that he’d ever admit it, he was feeling tired with ‘entertaining’ the guests.  
He wasn’t the only one who was tired, Christopher was nearly asleep, but he hadn’t wanted to go home with Abuela earlier, not wanting to leave Buck’s side. Carla was coming to pick him up soon and take her to Abuela’s, so that Eddie could stay at the hospital with Buck. Carla hadn't questioned Eddie why he wanted to stay with Buck now that he was awake, which Eddie was grateful about. He really wasn’t in the right headspace to discuss his very complicated feelings for Buck.  
Maddie had already left as Chim had been adamant she needed rest and Buck had agreed, not letting his accident affect Maddie’s pregnancy in any way. Maddie had told them they were being silly, but alas, she had agreed to go to anyway.  
“Hey handsome, how are you feeling.” Carla said, stepping into the room.. “You look drained...You are lucky you can work that hospital gown.”  
Buck laughed. “I’m fine, this little man is a real cure.” He said smiling at Chris, who perked up a bit.  
“Come on sleepyhead, let’s go,” Carla said.  
“I’ll see you to the car,” Eddie said, lifting a tired Christopher in his arms. “I’ll be back soon.” he said to Buck.  
“No hurry, I won’t be going anywhere.” Buck said, yawning.  
“Take care, Buckaroo,” Carla said, giving Buck the biggest kiss on the cheek.  
“Will do, don’t worry.”

Eddie didn’t lie, he was the only away for a couple of minutes. But just like the last time, a lot can happen in a couple of minutes. When he was approaching Buck’s room, he saw a doctor entering it.. Eddie's heart started raising.

  
\------------------------

  
_“So, what do you say? New York, yay or nay?” Adam asked._  
_Buck was lost for words. Buck had known all along he would go back there come fall. He had taken a year off from med school to travel with Cathy, but he was always going to be just one year, no matter how much Cathy wanted him to stay with her for longer. The question was, was Buck going too?_  
_The holiday season was ending so Buck there wouldn’t be work here for Buck much longer. And also, Buck had started to have strong feelings for Adam, even if they had been dating only for a couple of months._  
_“So?” Adam said, and straddled Buck on the sofa they were sitting at, starting to move his hips devilishly. “Or do you need more convincing?”_  
_New York sounded suddenly way more appealing. Besides, Buck had always wanted to live there, at least for a bit. Letting this opportunity pass sounded silly._  
_“Yes.” he said, and kissed Adam._

  
\-------------------------

  
As soon as the doctor left the room Eddie rushed in. “So, what did he say?”  
“They found a small bleeding in my brain, caused by the head trauma I got in the accident.” Buck said matter-of-factly  
“How are you so calm?”  
“I’ve been through worse. It’s only a small bleed, I’ll be fine... They want to keep me here for a while though, to monitor it and also my fever, which is apparently going up again, not that I feel it with the drugs they gave me. It’s good stuff.” He smirked at Eddie.  
It was all too much for Eddie who couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.  
“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?” Buck asked, sounding too anxious for Eddie’s liking.  
“I’m so stupid, here I am making you feel worse, when I should be make you feel better,” he mumbled through his tears.  
“Don’t be silly, I’m fine, it’s okay, you can cry. Just tell me what’s the matter?  
“It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it...just…” Eddie was lost for words, all of the repressed feelings since the accident surfacing. “It’s just… you...lying unconsciously on the car, then on the pavement...it...it... just like...Shannon.”  
“Oh.”  
“I was so scared I was gonna lose another person I love, I….” Eddie couldn’t stop the tears.  
“Hey, hey...I’m ok, I’ll be just fine.” Buck gently wiped Eddie’s tears away. “I’ve never seen you like this.”  
“I’m not really the crying type, I dunno what got into me.”  
“Yeah, you are more like punching someone in the face kinda guy.” Buck smirked at him.  
“Okay, I deserved that,” Eddie said, wondering how Buck managed to lift his mood so easily. “I think this is a much healthier way to deal with emotions,” He continued.  
“Yes, yes it is.,” Buck agreed, not bringing up the fact Eddie had just said he ‘loved’ him.  
Not yet.


	6. "I'm not going."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: “I’m not going.” + angst

Buck had been in the hospital for a week now, Eddie by his side most of that time, which Buck was grateful for. Eddie’s presence was calming, and Buck was sure it was helping him recover faster. And Eddie felt happier when he could be with Buck and seeing him actually get better. Now though, he had to have gone back to work, but he had promised to come by after his shift.  
Buck could smell the not so delicious scent of an evening snack long before the nurse entered the room with the tray.

  
“Hey Nia,” he said to the now familiar nurse.

  
“Hey Buck, how are we feeling this evening?” She asked, putting the tray, filled with something suspicious, before him.

  
“Good, good.” Buck smiled.

  
“Your boyfriend’s not here today?” She inquired.

  
“My boyfriend?” And sure, Eddie had been here every other evening she had brought him food, but ‘no we’re not boyfriends’ was what he was supposed to say but settled for “no he had to go to work” instead.

  
“Well good, I was starting to wonder who is gonna put out the fires when the fittest firemen are here all the time.”

  
Yeah, Buck liked her. And he liked Eddie. He had always had feelings for Eddie, from the minute he first saw him. Sure, maybe the first feelings were jealousness, but those were feelings as well. And they had suddenly turned into something more. Eddie was his best friend, he would take a bullet for him, as would Eddie for him. And he trusted Eddie. He adored Eddie, every part of him. But he had never let himself study his feelings more, he didn’t want to break his heart. Nothing about Eddie had ever hinted he would be interested in guys. Sure, Eddie had flirted with him, but that's what friends did, right? Right?

  
\-------------------

  
_“So, are you two like actually moving in together then?” Cathy asked._

_“Yeah, we are...I mean, we haven’t talked about it, but as your parents have that condo there, I don’t see any point for me to get my own apartment. I’d said we have a lot of practice of living together already.” Buck pointed out, thinking how quickly he had actually fallen for Adam and how quickly things have progressed. It wasn’t like him at all, but life was good and New York was waiting._

  
_“Hmm.” Cathy just said, clearly unconvinced. “So what are you gonna do in New York?”_

  
_“Well actually, I already got a job for myself,” Buck said, feeling proud. “One old high school friend has just opened a gym there, so you are looking at a future PT!”_

  
_“Didn’t know you had a PT training?”_

  
_“I don’t yet, but I know my way around at the gym and I will get the proper papers once I get to New York.”_

_“Well, it’s good that you’ll have your own thing, and that you’re not just following Adam there.” Cathy said, again with the weird attitude Buck didn’t get._

  
_“Why, would that be a bad thing?”_

  
_Cathy never got the chance to answer as Adam entered the room and gave Buck a kiss. “Hey handsome, what are you two up to?”_

  
_“We were just talking about New York, actually.” Cathy said, before Buck had the chance. “Buck here was telling me about his new job and about you two moving in together.”_

  
_Adam looked surprised. “Moving in together, what gave you that idea?”_

  
_The question was for Cathy, but Buck felt himself blush. “I..,” he started. “I just assumed, I know we haven’t talked about it, but since you already have an apartment there and I don’t, and we’ve been living together here too…”_

  
_“Let’s talk about this later, yeah? But you won’t be homeless, I promise.” Adam said, kissing Buck again and heading to his room. “Need to have a quick shower before work.”_

  
_Cathy must've noticed how much the conversation had thrown Buck off and said, “hey, don’t take it personally, he's not really the type of a guy to jump into a fully committed relationship, not after what happened with Alex.”_

  
_Buck should have probably asked who Alex was and what had happened, but he was too embarrassed how he had just assumed they would move in together to really continue the conversation. He felt a little sick, which was just pathetic, he thought to himself._

  
\----------------------

  
Eddie had had one hell of a shift, but in now way was skipping seeing Buck. He had promised him, and he needed to see him. Carla had taken Christopher to the zoo after school, so he had plenty of time to see Buck before getting back home to Chris.

  
When he was closing Buck’s room he saw he was in a, what looked like a serious conversation with a doctor. Eddie noticed right away how tense Buck seemed. Was something wrong? Had his health taken a turn to the worse?

Eddie paced in the corridor waiting for the doctor to come out of the room. The minute he was out, Eddie rushed in.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m getting better minute by minute. They are thinking about letting me go home soon.” Buck said, having seemingly relaxed the second Eddie stepped in, but he still sounded tense to Eddie.

“That’s great!” And it was, but it made Buck’s obvious discomfort even more concerning. “You sure that’s all there is?”

“Yeah.”

There was definitely something else Buck wasn’t telling him, but he wasn’t gonna push it.

“So how was your day?” Buck asked, clearly wanting to change the subject.

“Well…” Eddie sat down and spent the next two hours telling Buck all about his shift. He wanted to know every little thing, clearly missing work.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be back at it no time!”

“Yeah I know, and in the meantime, I got you.” Buck said smiling.

Yeah do, you got me, all of me. Was what Eddie wanted to say. But instead he watched his clock and “oh, look at the time, I gotta go get Chris” he said and stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

“Okay.”

\----------------------------------

_Buck needed to talk to Adam right away, he felt stupid for assuming he would move in with Adam at New York. He stepped into Adam’s room only to find he was still at the shower. It was another super hot day, Buck really wanted to join Adam there, but he still felt stupid for assuming too much, so instead sat in Adam’s bed to wait._

_He saw Adam’s phone beep at the table, and Buck really wasn’t that type who read other people’s messages, but he couldn’t help himself when he saw “Alex” flash on the screen._

_“So when are you coming back home?” Read the message. Home?! Buck couldn’t help himself, he had to read the rest of the messages, even if it went against his better judgement. Luckily, or not so luckily, he knew Adam’s password. As he scrolled through the messages, he felt sick. Adam had talked with Alex almost every day and not all of the discussions were actually nsfw, nor were all the pictures they had exchanged._

_“Buck?” Alex asked, fresh from shower and clearly confused why Buck had his phone._

_“So who’s Alex and why is he waiting for you to come home?” Buck asked angrily._

_“What?” Was all Alex managed to say, clearly confused._

_“I said, who is Alex and why is he waiting for you to come home.” Buck was shaking as he showed Adam the phone._

_“Alex looked at the phone and tensed.”_

_“Buck, can we have this discussion after my shift, I can’t be late.”_

_“WHO IS ALEX?!” Buck was losing it._

_“Buck, babe, chill, please.” Adam said, stepping closer to Buck. “Don’t be like this, this” he said and showed the phone “this is nothing serious. Just a little fun with an old friend.”_

_“Little fun? LITTLE FUN? You think sexting and dick pics and god knows what else is just a little fun when you are dating someone else?!” Buck was furious._

_“No of course not, that came out the wrong way.” Adam said, trying to embrace Buck, but he was having none of it._

_“I really need to hurry for work, can we please talk about this after my shift….please?”_

_Buck just nodded, even if he didn’t really think there was much to talk about._

_\----------------------------------_  
Eddie felt like a right idiot about the way he had left Buck. What on earth had gotten into him? He couldn’t let it be. He had to see Buck, now.

  
“Hey Carla, sorry to call you this late, umm...could you...maybe…I need to see Buck, could you come by and stay with Chris for a while.” He blurted it out.

  
“What’s happened, is Buck okay? Carla sounded alarmed.

  
Eddie felt like an idiot again. “Yeah, he is, I just, I really need to see him. Can you come?”

  
Luckily Carla was an angel and was at Eddie’s place in half an hour. Chris was already sleeping and Eddie kissed him goodbye and headed back to the hospital.  
Eddie was away barely three hours and it wasn’t that late, not for Buck anyway, but he was fast asleep when Eddie arrived at his room. He sat down by his bed and watched Buck, who looked restless and was mumbling something.

  
“Admmmm….Ad....Adam…..”

Wait, who was Adam?

_\-----------------------_

_When Buck came back to the flat, after a little walk he had taken to clear his thoughts, he found Cathy in her room._

_“Sorry, do you have a minute?” he asked, knocking the door frame._

_“Sure, what’s up? I heard you two arguing and Adam was in a right mood, everything ok?” She asked, concerned._

_“Who’s Alex and what happened with him?” Buck finally asked._

_“Huh?”_

_“You said something about him earlier?” Buck sounded tense._

_“Oh, yeah, Alex,” Cathy took a deep breath and continued, “they were high school sweethearts, got engaged after graduation and moved to New York. Then they had a big fight and Adam took a year off and joined me on my travels. I don’t really know what happened between them, Adam wouldn’t tell, but the ring was off and he was back to his single ways.”_

_“Alex is still living there.”_

_“Yeah, I’d assume so, he’s studying at the med school as well.” Cathy said._

_Great, Buck thought. “No, I meant he is still living at your parents apartment there.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“You don’t sound surprised?”_

_“Well, I kinda thought Adam would go back to him one day, they felt like soulmates to me.” Cathy looked apologetic. “I’m sorry Buck, I really like you, I should have said something, I just didn’t realize your thing was something more than a holiday romance.”_

_Buck shrugged, it wasn’t her fault. Buck felt like an idiot._

_“What are you thinking about?” Cathy asked._

_“I’m not going to New York.”_

\------------------------

Eddie grew even more restless. Who the hell was Adam? He must be someone important as he was in Buck’s dreams. Had Buck started to date someone? Eddie hated that this was the first thought he had. When would he even have had time to go to a date anyway? Buck had been working extra shifts lately a lot and the rest of the time he had been either at Maddie’s or with him and Chris. Also, Buck had never dated guys before, not that Eddie knew anyway.

“Adam..” Buck said again and Eddie couldn’t handle it anymore.

So he stood up and left.


	7. "Closure"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: Free choice

Eddie felt like an idiot. Why had he left Buck like that? He had only said ‘I got you,’ it didn’t need to mean anything romantic, it could be simply platonic. But that was the point, Eddie wanted it to mean more. So much he had bolted when he had heard Buck mumble ‘Adam’ in his dreams. That too, didn’t need to mean anything. But Eddie felt too embarrassed to find out, so when he had the opportunity to do a double shift, meaning he had the perfect excuse not to go see Buck, he took it. Also, Chris was visiting Eddie’s parents for a couple of days, which meant Eddie could actually sleep after his double shift.

And the sleep he truly needed, he felt exhausted after the shift. Eddie didn’t know how long he had slept when he heard a knock on the door. He must’ve been close to waking up, otherwise he would not have heard it. He wasn’t expecting anyone or anything though. He quickly put on a pair of joggers and a t-shirt.

Eddie wasn’t sure if he was still sleeping when he opened the door. “Buck.”

\-------------------------

_Buck closed his backpack and looked at the room he had spent the last few months in, some of the best of his life, even if the ending was anything but. He had pretended to sleep when Adam had come back from work, not wanting to talk with him. He wanted to get out from Florianópolis, now. He only had a few shifts left, so he had called the manager and they had found an agreement so that Buck was freed from his contract immediately. Having been the most popular bartender over the high season paid off._

_He had booked a bus ticket out town and had decided to backpack a couple of weeks before returning to home. He tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake Adam or Cathy up. He almost succeeded._

_“Buck?” he heard Cathy ask._

_Shit._

_“Are you leaving?”_

_“Yeah…” Buck felt his face turning red. “I was gonna call you tomorrow, I wasn’t just going to leave without saying goodbye, I promise.”_

_“And Adam?”_

_Buck just lowered his gaze. “I can’t.” He shrugged his shoulders_

_“I get it.” Cathy said._

_“Sorry.”_

_“No need to be… Don’t be a total stranger, okay?.” She said and gave Buck a big hug._

_“I won’t, bye Cathy.”_

_“Bye Buck.”_

\------------------------

“Buck...how are you here?” Eddie was stunned. “How are you out of hospital?”

“Hi..” Buck blushed.

“Oh sorry, hi, please come in and sit!” Buck was on crutches after all.

Buck limped to Eddie's living room and sat down. “Sorry if I scared you, it wasn’t my intention.” He said, apologizing.

“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to see you, but how?”

“I got released today and took a taxi here, really not that hard, even with these.” Buck said sarcastically and moved the crutches.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.”

There was a silence, both of them struggling to continue.

“You didn’t come to see me yesterday, or today.” Buck eventually said and looked sad and confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

Eddie felt like the world’s biggest idiot. Why had he had to bolt that way.

“No, of course not, I just had a double shift...I’m sorry, I didn’t send you a message.”

“No I know, Bobby told me.... but he also told me you could’ve taken an extra shift the other days too but you didn’t… was I a hindrance to you, did I make you lose money?”

“No no, I wanted to be with you!” That came out way too desperately, Eddie thought. “Just… Chris is with my parents now, so I could take the double shift.” He was lucky he had a good excuse.

“Oh, good.” Buck blushed and smiled.

“So, you’re okay to be alone at home?” Eddie asked, concerned.

“Yeah I’m fine, I managed the last time I had a cast on my leg, remember? And this isn’t as bad.”

Eddie would rather forget that, but yeah, he did remember. “But then you didn’t have a concussion and broken ribs!”

“I’m fine, really, I got good medication.” He smirked.

“Okay, but promise to tell me right away if you need any help, okay.”

“I will, between you and Maddie, I think I’ll manage.”

He smiled that smile Eddie loved, the one that reaches his eyes. Eddie finally looked at the time. “So, dinner?” He asked.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

They ordered pizza, because after that hospital junk, Buck needed something extra special and watched some random movie from Netflix. Eddie was happy to be back to normal with Buck, but he still had ‘Adam’ back in his mind, he had to ask, and when the movie ended, he blurted out:

“Who’s Adam?”

Buck looked confused. “What?”

“Who’s Adam? You were talking about him in your dreams the other night.”

“Oh,” Buck turned his head and looked sad. “He’s my ex-boyfriend.”

\-----------------------------

“So I just left, went backpacking for a couple of weeks, then returned home and went to try out for the SEALS.” Buck finished telling the story.

“I didn’t know you were into guys.” Was all Eddie managed to blurt out, he knew it sounded stupid.

“Well, Adam wasn’t exactly something I wanted to talk about, I wasn’t hiding about being bi.” Buck was clearly defending himself.”

“No I didn’t mean that,” Eddie felt like an idiot again, it was clearly the theme of the day or the week, more like. “He must still mean a lot to you, even after all he did.” Eddie couldn’t help feeling jealous.

“No he doesn’t, why do you say that?” Buck was confused.

“Because you called for him in your sleep.”

“Oh that… I saw him the other day.”

“Now it was Eddie’s turn to be confused. “You saw him?”

“Yeah, he’s a doctor here now, just moved to LA, go figure.”

Eddie remembered wondering what Buck was keeping from him that day, now it all made perfect sense. Suddenly he thought punching a doctor was totally okay, he hated the guy and what he had done to Buck.

“I’m so sorry Buck, it must not have been a nice surprise.”

“It was surprisingly okay.”

“It was?” Eddie started to feel jealous again.

“Yeah, I mean, not at first… I was super surprised and wasn’t feeling that comfortable seeing him again, especially him being one of my doctors. But after I slept on it, I realised I’m over it and it really was for the best.”

“It was?” Why was it all Eddie managed to suddenly say?

“Yeah, I mean, if I’d gone to New York, I wouldn’t have had the idea to try for SEALs and if I hadn't tried out for it, I wouldn’t have become a firefighter. And I wouldn’t change this for nothing.”

“No?”

“No.”

They were smiling at each other like the idiots they were.

“Did you ever talk to him after Brazil?” Eddie had to ask.

“He kept sending me messages for a while. It took me weeks to reply. We haven't spoken since.”

“I hope he said sorry.” Eddie couldn't hide his disgust towards Adam.

“He did actually. Not that we talked much. But he did apologize…. and him and Alex are married nowadays, so I guess Cathy was right about the soulmate thing.” Buck shrugged.

“Are you okay with it?”

“Surprisingly, I am. I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, and things turned out for the best. But seeing him gave me some closure I never realised I needed.”

There it was again, the smile that Eddie loved so much.

“Sooo…” Eddie really needed to talk with Buck, but he had no idea how.

“Eddie.” Buck was clearly struggling too. “We need to talk.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… but not now, I really need some sleep. Can you come over tomorrow?”

“I can.”

“So we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” Buck stood up, wobbled over to Eddie and gave him a kiss to the cheek.

“Tomorrow.” He said.

“Tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm thinking about writing a follow up fic to this, where they actually get together, didn't feel it fit here really. If people want, of course.


End file.
